Saying goodbye to him is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I fell in live with you in record time. I loved everything about us. Except for one thing: everything was a fairy tale just waiting to happen. There’s no way to explain how I thought it would ever work out except that we loved each other. I learned the hard way. You promised you would always be there and of course I believed you. What I didn’t know was how many more lies i would believe before it took me to realize how naive and manipulating you were. I pushed everything further out of my mind. Everyone’s doubts, they didn’t matter. Until a month ago. We stopped talking altogether. Made me realize that’s as much as “there for me” I’d ever get from you. I was stupid, and I was in love.

Fuck you

I remember how we met. More like how you reached out to me. I didn’t want you in my life. I heard all I had needed to know about you from all my friends. But I fell for you anyway. It wasn’t long before you told me you were in love with me. Of course I believed you. Even after the fights and the break up. But I always found my way back to you. It’s been eight months since we first met and we’ve fought countless times. But what you said hurt more than you can imagine. Those words cut right through me. There’s nothing you can ever do to make it up to me. When things were good they were great. And then they weren’t. I’m done with you and all your bullshit. I’m sick of you thinking I’m just some girl to be fucked with. I actually do have feelings and respect for myself. I don’t know how but I promise you this: I will forget about you. I am moving on. I do not want to think of you anymore

I miss you more and more
With each and every moment
That passes.
My memories of us are very faint.
I haven’t been gone for long
But already I feel them
Slipping through my hands like sand
It’s like they never existed
Like we never met.
Suddenly it’s like your
Just a figment of my imagination.
It’s hard to see you so happy
Without me being there
To share it with you
I miss you, I miss us
And what we had
I pray that we never
Forget each other
I hope that someday, somewhere
We will meet again
Even if it is only in our dreams

Dear Dad, 

   You brought me into this world. You fucked up my life before i was even born. You drank so much it nearly cost me mental retardation. I hate you. You were an alcoholic and you still are. People like you can change. But that’s it, they’re like you but you’re not like them. You stuck with everything you said you were going to give up to make my life better. That never happened. You made your mistakes and I’m stuck suffering because of it. Guess what: that shit stops now. I’m done, it’s over. You lost me. You may be my father but you aren’t my dad. You have to earn that title, you failed in all aspects of a father. I’m moving on with my life and no you’re not welcome in  it. Goodbye, father.

Sincerely, 

the daughter you don’t deserve